The saga comes to an end.

The saga of the $8,000 art sale continues:

Hi Carl,

Thank you for your update,my husband informed me that he has been calling your phone since yesterday to speak with you but you`ve not been available.As I stated earlier the rest of the payment will be going to shipping company,they will ship the artworks along with our other house wares.

As I was informed before,they stated they had been in contact with you some couple of days ago but I`ve not heard from you,anyway they`ve assured me that they will be touch with you later today to arrange pick up with you on Saturday.

I`ll be looking forward to hearing back from you as soon as you hear from them.

Best regards,
Caroline Lewis

She certainly likes to stay on top of the situation. Yes, I did receive several calls from a “restricted” number. If a person or entity blocks their number from my caller ID, I refuse to answer. I am lobbying for the death penalty for all of these shithead collectors out there that call from fake or restricted numbers. Identify yourself, man!

Hi Caroline,

That must be the restricted number that keeps popping up on my caller ID. I never, ever answer calls from restricted numbers. Tell your husband to leave a message with a return number, and I will call that number, if he cannot call from a number that is not restricted.

I have many creditors calling me from restricted numbers, and many salespeople. I am trying to have restricted numbers made illegal in my state to force salespeople to let me know where they are calling from.

As I said - just give me a contact phone number. Not too difficult for an honest person. And that proves my point that all collectors are inherently dishonest, and cowardly that they will not reveal their own numbers. I will lighten up on the death penalty deal, maybe just a good flaying alive would suffice, especially for Nigerian scammers.

Dear Carl B Johnson,

Sorry it took me sometime to get in touch.It is because we have been on pick-up/shipping tour in Malaysia.Meanwhile,I was contacted by Mrs.Lewis’ husband that you have received payment for the items we are picking up from you and shipping on board with her other house decors to South Africa as shipments have been scheduled for Friday 06-26-2009.He also advised us that you will be forwarding to us our own payment as soon as possible.

It`s our house style to always receive our payment ahead of shipment whenever we are on pick up tour,therefore, we will receive our payment via Western Union as we have discussed with Mr.James Lewis.

Therefore,you will have to forward to us the excess on money,from which the Western Union charges will be deducted,and here is the information you will need to get the money transfered to us.Payment has to be made out to the Chief Accountant of our company in the person of ;

NAME:…………………ROBERT BRIAN
ADDRESS:…………….21 Jalan Scott, Kuala Lumpur,
KL 47100, Malaysia

You will need to get back to us with all the necessary receiver’s information ,such as the following;

1.Western Union Control Number
2.Total amount sent ,after deducting the Western Union charges
3.Name and address of sender

We will be looking forward to receiving the receiver’s information as soon as possible so we can make all neccessary arrangement for the FEDEX PICK UP on Friday.I will like you to confirm the PICK UP ADDRESS again so I can be sure of where the FedEx agent will be coming for the pick up.

Carl B. Johnson
415 Sassafras St.
Millville, NJ 08332
856.327.6877

Many thanks.

Yours,
Mr.Steve Edwards
For:Boundless Shipping And Logistics Services Ltd.
21 Jalan Scott, Kuala Lumpur,KL 47100, Malaysia
+60 102 070 769

Finally - an email from a reputable company to confirm that this is not a scam! I was beginning ot get worried for a while. I replied:

I do not have a Western Union agent in my town - how to proceed?

They responded very quickly:

Dear Carl B. Johnson,

To make things a little bit easier for you,you can can make use of any of the Western Union Agent(s) around you for your convenience,I am very sure you will not have any problem doing this ,the agent(s) are listed below:

CASHWELL CHECK CASHING #9103
536 N HIGH ST
Millville, NJ 08332

Nice. The check cashing store, the frontispiece and crowning jewel of the arts district, the first location on their list. I wouldn’t give those clowns business if they were the last check cashing place in Millville. We can thank Paul Porreca and Millville First for putting the resdients of Millville last by arranging to have this travesty located in the arts district rather than in the plaza a block away, where it is more suited.

Hi Carl,

I received the copy of the attached email from the movers some couple of minutes ago,detailing the pickup arrangements and scheduled pickup for this tomorrow Friday.

As I stated it for you in my last email,kindly proceed as advised by the shipper,to forward the rest of the payment to them via western union money transfer and as soon as they comfirm the payment they will start shipping our house items we are shipping along with the paintings I`m ordering from you.

I`ll be looking forward to hearing back from you so I can know the pick up goes,thanks so much for your patience and cooperation.

Regards,
Caroline

Glad she is keeping abreast of the situation.

Hi Caroline
I am not comfortable with Western Union - I have heard they steal from people. Is there another option?

Also, you said earlier you are pregnant. How far along. I find pregnant girls sexy. Do you have any pictures?
Carl

Hey, what is wrong with finding pregnant girls sexy? And Western Union? Why would I use a fly-by-night organization like that?

Hi Carl,

Good morning to you.Pls let me know when you are sending the payment to the shipper via western union as they have requested.Pls update me ASAP.

Best,
Caroline

Okay, the joke is winding down now… I was hoping to get someone from within the states but it looks like caroline will have to pick up the overpayment and the paintings from the FBI. But Ihad to give it one more shot:

Hi Caroline,
I do not feel safe using Western Union to ship money. I don’t like using fly-by-night organizations. Is there another method? Maybe I can pay you cash if you come here on your way to South Africa.

I would love to see your pregnant body naked. Do you have any pictures?

Looking forward to your reply,
carl

She replied - quickly:

From: Caroline Lewis 
To: 
Subject: YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:42:13 -0500
Importance: Normal
In-Reply-To: <4a44f0b2.6020805@wuli.com>
References: 
 <4a43f5ee.10603@wuli.com>
 <4a44f0b2.6020805@wuli.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-OriginalArrivalTime: 26 Jun 2009 18:42:14.0049 (UTC) FILETIME=[D293C110:01C9F68D]

--_69fcacad-4894-4e2e-a3a2-05372358108a_
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="windows-1256"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit

YOUR MOTHER

Okay, be that way!

So to all of my artist friends out there, if a deal sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true! If you get contacted regarding one of these scams, feel free to play along. Contact the FBI AND your local police department if and when the fake check arrives. But hold on to the check, how often do you get a $8,000 check for a couple paintings!

Hold on to envelopes and checks, make phootcopies for the authorities, and print out the emails including the headers for the police report. The authorities are not going to catch the people involved; they are in Nigeria, or sometimes Canada. They are always out of the country.

The FBI agent I talked to could not have been less interested. That is the FBI. They really, truly, could not care less about internet crime. Well, that is unless you are a 14 year girl downloading songs from a file sharing service. Then they will kick down your door, and you will find that you have no rights in this country.

You will probably have better luck with your local police, Officer Twigg (that is his real name) arrived at my door within five minutes of my call. He was truly helpful. And in the rare possibility that the FBI will investigate this further, the local police report is mandatory. I hope you enjoyed the saga.